Rejection Hotline*


Let me guess – you too have been left to fend for yourself in a rat-infested alley after being spat on and called a cumdumpster.

Or maybe you’ve come home from poker night to find your loved one holding a knife to their throat incessantly nagging “this is how you make me feel!”

Or, hey, maybe you’re just unemployed… still.

Fret not.  Whether you’re the jilter or the jilted, EMP will listen.  Why?  Because we love you.

Call (410) 929-6367 today.**

Sad Sack

Sad Sack

*sob stories to be included in our upcoming production (…and you’re just not good enough)
**EMP is not responsible for any despair, drug abuse or psychiatric costs associated with and/or resulting from the rehashing of your horrifying, unspeakable past